Yikes. The scale keeps going up and it's not surprising. The way I have been eating and the lack of exercise...a gain is to be expected. I wish I could get out of this routine of self-destructive behavior. Yesterday I sat down just an hour after lunch and proceeded to finish off a bag of potato chips and cookies just because. I wasn't hungry. I actually felt sick while I was eating and yet I didn't stop.
I have decided to set some mini-goals and rewards for myself. Maybe it will help motivate me. I am feeling like everything in my life is a mess right now. Do you ever have those days where you feel like you're crap at everything? Lately I've been feeling like I can't get anything right....I feel like I'm crap at work, at keeping my house clean, at being a wife, at being a mom, at losing weight. I know I need to stop thinking so negatively and do better but it's been really hard.
Yesterday I made some progress I think (except for the out-of-control eating). Z and I had a really good afternoon playing. I cooked a nice dinner. Bedtime went well. I managed to finally re-organize and clean up all of Z's toys which were such a mess. The laundry got folded. We (Z and I) took two short walks, about 15 minutes each to the store and then to a friend's house. M and I didn't get in any fights. So maybe I'm not completely crap.
Mini-Goals and Rewards
239 lbs - New face and eye cream
235 lbs - Buy an exercise ball
229 lbs - Buy a Yoga Mat
225 lbs - New Haircut
219 lbs - Buy a blender! (I have wanted one for a really long time now!)
Today I am going to walk home from work (30 minutes) and do a DVD workout after Z goes to bed. As far as eating today, I am going to try and eat 5 fruits and veggies and measure my portions. I am also going to give up chocolate. I just have to do it. I can't control myself around it.
I don't think you are failing just because the scale isn't dropping right now. I think that every now and then your life being a mess really is a valid reason why you just aren't "with it" right now, you know?
ReplyDeleteIf you don't feel good about yourself you probably aren't treating yourself very kindly (which does include eating well!). I think to be successful here you need to forgive the mistakes and try to take it a day at a time.
I know you can do this! Don't give up! I really like your goals/rewards idea too!