Relax

In light of my big blow up yesterday, I've been thinking a lot about how I've been handling things lately and I've come to a couple conclusions.

First off, I don't want to have to look back at our early years of marriage and remember how hard things were and that instead of dealing with it and making the best out of it, I just kept losing it. That is not good. And I don't want Z to remember me as a stressed out mom.

Secondly, I need to relax. Really relax. I used to be able to take things in stride and not get worked up about things, but somewhere in between a husband and baby and 400 in-laws, I have lost my cool.

And last of all, I need to make the best of things. There are a lot of things that could be better...more money, our own house, more time together as a family, less interference from M's family, hot water....but I can deal with what we have and try harder to make them work.

Of course I can deal. That's what women do right? And I can be much gentler and respectful in how I communicate with M when he's not pulling his weight.

Whew. I feel much better now. Yesterday was a rough day but I got through it and did not binge. I walked for 20 minutes to go pick up Z and we had a nice afternoon together. And today I'll be okay as well. I had oatmeal for breakfast, will have soup and salad for lunch, and do my strength training later on. I may even walk to go pick up Z again. It felt good yesterday, although my feet are hurting. I really need to wear samthing other than flip flops when I walk longer distances.